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Tripp Lanier – The New Man Podcast

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# Episode 105 **Summary:** In Episode #105 chats with [Tripp Lanier]( men’s coach and creator of _The New Man Podcast._ During their conversation, Tripp and Ari discuss the common pitfalls facing the average man, our unhealthy willingness to “tolerate,” and the unbelievable power of “no”.

**Time Stamped Show Notes:**

– 19:48 – Ari introduces his guest, Tripp Lanier

– 20:42 – How Tripp became a men’s coach

– 21:49 – Having conversations that change people’s lives is at the core of everything Tripp does

– 23:00 – Continue to learn and continue to be coached

– 23:50 – Why specifically a men’s coach, as opposed to being a women’s coach as well?

– 25:00 – The two men Tripp deals with most:

– 25:18 – Men that have found success but not happiness

– 26:12 – Men that have relationship questions and concerns

– 28:00 – Many problems or issues are simply rooted in communication

– 28:20 – How much of your world dedicated to pleasing other people, to not letting them down?

– 29:00 – Where are you _tolerating _things?

– 29:18 – Are you engaging in relationships out of fear a fear based placed or because it’s actually important?

– 29:40 – People are too afraid that their relationships can’t survive healthy conflict

– 31:00 – What is the main fear in the average man?

– 32:10 – Men usually set up their lives to avoid conflict

– 32:30 – Listening to language is the key to getting someone to avoid their fear of conflict

– 34:09 – Do men feel overwhelmed purely out of fear, or are there other aspects at play?

– 34:35 – Defeating the feeling of being overwhelmed is impossible if a man is making himself out to be the victim or looking to play the “blame game”

– 35:30 – Men want to feel _free_

– 36:14 – A willingness to say “no” and endure temporary discomfort are key to finding what we truly want

– 37:18 – A man should not spend his life trying to carry 11 gallons of water in a 10 gallon bucket

– 37:29 – What Tripp tries to improve about himself

– 37:43 – Struggles to restrain himself from the “need to be doing more” feeling

– 39:00 – What can I do to make myself feel more _free_ today?

– 39:45 – The time is _now_; How can I create my day in the service of _now_

– 40:05 – The irony is in that today’s world of instant gratification, people will seek out everything _except _that which they _really _want

– 40:15 – It’s scary to have a blank canvas…it’s a lot easier to do what we are told

– 41:05 – Tripp’s morning routine

– 41:30 – The importance of _remembering_ who you are and what you have done

– 42:13 – Don’t get distracted by the shiny thing

– 42:50 – What Tripp offers in the way off services

– 44:28 – What are your _Top 3 Personal Tips for Being More Effective?_

– 44:49 – Have fun

– 44:51 – Know what you want

– 44:53 – Say “no”

– 45:09 – The power of “no” is one of the most difficult things to master because we are so_afraid_ of the conflict it may invite

– 45:49 – [](

**7 Key Points:**

  1. Continue to learn and continue to be coached.
  2. Men are frequently setting up their lives to avoid conflict at all costs…this is a mistake.
  3. Every man needs to identify where he is simply tolerating things.
  4. Dedicating oneself to the service of _now_ is key to achieving happiness and peace.
  5. Do not get distracted by the “shiny thing”, stay on-course
  6. Be willing to say “no” and endure the temporary discomfort that comes with it.
  7. Knowing when to say “no” is th — Send in a voice message: